Firstly I would just like to thank everyone on Facebook for the amazing feedback I received following my labour disappointment post yesterday. It was truly overwhelming and leads nicely onto the blog post for tonight.
The importance of the “mum squad”.
This is no way belittles or diminishes the power and friendship of my childless friends but more so than ever I need the Mom Army for support.
Childless friends may patiently coo over photos of my baby or allow me to talk about her but they probably draw the line at me sending photos of Matilda’s poop filled nappy. The Mum Squad however? Absolutely fine with it. And will happily disect the rogue poop in question.
This kind of friendship as a new mum is invaluable.
Every new mum needs someone to message at 3am. Like minded souls who can discuss nipples leaking during orgasms. Which apparently can happen. And definitely means no faking it!
The whole earth shattering topsy-turvy nature of becoming a mother is soothed by having the mum squad. Easing your fears over rashes, feeds, latching, sterilising, crying, sleeping.
I’m lucky to be surrounded by fabulous, fierce females. I downloaded an app and put myself forward to became part of a group online of women all around the UK due around the same time. These ladies have become my friends. I have watched their bellies swell, babies born and grow. We have cried together and laughed together. There’s 100 women. So you may not all get Christmas cards! Sorry!
Case in point for how fabulous they are…after my post about comparing Matilda to others a conversation was struck up and #meltdownmonday was invented. Taking photos of the babies having a meltdown over something trivial – showing the other side of the ‘happy fb post’ coin. I have never laughed so much in my life. What glorious women I know.
I also paid for NCT antenatal classes. Mainly because I had forgotten to book the NHS ones but also because it is a small group of people meeting weekly to cover these topics. Again we were all due around the same time and became friends. We take the babies to baby classes together and also discuss the wine choice of the day. We have a karaoke evening booked in October and I cannot wait! Like minded and fantastic women who again are available at any time of the day or night.
The people I have connected or reconnected with because of Matilda have given me fantastic advice and support. I used to think, pre-pregnancy, why do these people speak to each other? What can they have in common other than children? Turns out that’s enough. It’s a starting point. People that understand.
If you are reading this and feeling alone all I can say is find some way to connect. Local baby groups are great ice breakers but if you are too anxious look online. There’s lots of us! We don’t bite!
In addiction, mutual aid (such as AA) doubles your chances of long term recovery. I feel like motherhood is similar. The more peer support you have and accumulate, the better your odds of a smooth ride.
The Mum army. Recruitment drive done.